is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize