Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
