drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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