so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize