giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
