she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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