the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
