i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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