Kiss
Puke
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize