imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
