Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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