That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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