Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
