Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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