I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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