people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
