Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
