just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize