Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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