weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize