The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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