I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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