I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
