So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
