so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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