I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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