i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
