im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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