I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
