So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
