what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
