Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
