Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
