god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
