im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
