Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
