its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
