guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
