Its about making memories worth repressing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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