she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize