you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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