guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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