Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
