Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
