Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
