I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
