the condom got lost in my hair
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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