Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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