What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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