My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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