When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
