isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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