Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
