first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
