Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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