just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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