It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
