something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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