'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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