I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How's work?
Spinning.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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