worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
