So drunk its hurt
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
