i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
