I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
