I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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