help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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