Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
