so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
