She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize